25 Things We Learned After 25 Years of Marriage

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This summer, Ricky and I celebrated 25 years of marriage with a beautiful vow renewal ceremony at the farm. It was humbling to pledge our lives again to each other, knowing now what those vows truly mean. The words no longer abstract, but made tangible by 25 years of “for better or worse” moments.

Blessed to be surrounded by family and friends, this was actually our first wedding ceremony on the farm! We celebrated with food, drinks, and dancing…because these moments should be celebrated with gusto and merriment!

Rick and I wanted to share 25 lessons or tidbits we have learned in 25 years of marriage. Some may have come naturally to us and some we’ve come upon the hard way. Such is the way of life and there is no one else I would rather do life with than this man!

Keep scrolling to the end to see images from this fabulous and heartfelt day!

Babies….we were babies!

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I found so much joy in making this bouquet using both store-bought flowers and greenery around our home.

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  1. We didn’t know what it meant to promise to love in sickness and in health, better or worse, richer or poorer…we do now.

  2. Truth is the most important element.

  3. Unloading the dishwasher or asking how you can help is way more appreciated than flowers!

  4. However, flowers & unexpected gifts are much better on any day of the year EXCEPT birthdays, Valentine’s Days and anniversaries.

  5. Not to say out loud everything you are thinking. Wait…hold…be still…Is is still true?

  6. Intimacy is very important. There are seasons of change, health issues, babies, but always come back together, and always think of the other’s happiness before your own.

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7. It’s ok to say “I love you, but I don’t like you right now.”

8. Be adventurous! Choose to get out and explore together. Drive to new places, find new things, eat, drink and have fun!

9. Listen to music together. Go to live concerts, turn up the radio, and sing along together. Turn it up loud while doing mundane chores. It makes the work lighter and more fun!

10. Cooking and cleaning the kitchen is the fastest way to get lucky! (One guess as to who wrote this one?)

11. Pray out loud together EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

12. Say I love you. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

13. Make out. And I mean like you were when you were dating.

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Had to grab some family photos! This one will be printed for our living room. It makes my heart so happy.

14. Ask questions about each other’s work. Encourage each other, listen and push each other to be better in all areas of life.

15. Don’t be too prideful to seek help if your marriage needs it. It’s worth it and you are not a failure if you need help! It takes a strong person to ask for help and the fruit of asking is plentiful.

16. Communicate on a regular basis about your goals for your family, finances, businesses and relationship so you’re always on the same page.

17. Support each other’s hobbies, even if you don’t understand them or have no interest in them yourself.

18. Get out of town and completely alone at least 2x a year, even if it means pitching a tent in your backyard or having grandma/grandpa keep the kids for a FULL weekend!

19. Commit to date nights, even if you put the kids to bed early and enjoy a special late night meal in your dining room.

20. On that date night, commit to not talk about your kids.

21. Focus on the things you are thankful for in your spouse instead of the negative.

22. Say Thank you! Acknowledge the things they do even if it’s trivial and small. It matters!

23. Never stop working on yourself; spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

24. Physical touch is important. Touch your spouse every day; a quick hand hold, hug or hand on the back mean so much.

25. And finally, the most important that gives meaning and validity to the previous 24. God first. Spouse next. And then children.

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Bo Phillips kept us in stitches and with our dancing shoes ON! Seriously, what a talented and FUNNY entertainer! Thanks, Bo!

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Photography by Melinda Ortley.